I can’t feel my heart breaking. I can’t feel any pain. I just know that I wanted to be sad.
Maybe I am sad, a bit sad. Just sad-of the thought of him leaving today and God knows when will I ever see him again….
MAYbe May will be memorable this year. So far. After a long time, I could say I’ve mustered the art of grieving (or whatever you call it.)
PS|| This is a product of scattered thoughts. (Be aware!)
I haven’t seen him for a long time though. I could only see him on social media but these days, this year, I got tired of social media (except wordpress-of course.)
So yeah, instead of sulking, I went on leave from work today. But I’m so proud I didn’t drink (my fave) SOJU to cure my loneliness-my self inflicted emotional turmoil.
Self-inflicted I call it since I can’t explain it further. To avoid headache (which I still have), I’d rather resort to self-inflicted thingy.
Inasmuch as I wanted to share how or what I am feeling at the moment, I can only keep it to myself and rather express it in my blog so when I look back, I could slap my face for this stupidity.
Having to express these feelings would mean to undergo history all over again. I would look back on those year and back to the reality that I also stop a long time ago.
So yeap, I’ll keep you with me until I learn to forget you, to forget us.
I’ll keep you with me until such time that I wouldn’t be able to think of you, until I would no longer be confuses, and until such time that I would learn to love again. More than I’ve loved you.
Because you know what? Even if there are no chances at all, I’m still thankful that I have loved, and lost and eventually will love again. In time.
So yeap, I’m still thankful for everything. A fave student of mine told me tat I’ve awaken his poetic side and it was so delightful to hear. And yeap, (why so many yeap?),
You’ve made the writer in me.
Thanks sweetheart. ❤