Thoughts in August

August has taught me a lot of things like letting go of a dream and moving on with a life that I deserve to have.

I will tell you a story about the man who will always matter to me:

That was the last time I saw him. I saw him at the most crowded place that its hard to reach out. I wanted to message him but I don’t have the courage. By that time, I have made up my mind. Before I left the place, I took a last glance of him never knowing that it was really the last.

When I arrived in the office, Ic hecked my phone and got a message from him asking if I was at the same place a while ago. I replied yes but was not able to see him. I knew I lied.  He called me and talked about our last agreement. he would have to see me before he leaves.

That was also the last conversation we had over the phone. Just last week I thought about contacting him to remind of our agreement. I told a friend about it when she said that he already left. sadness filled me of the thoughts of him leaving without saying goodbye, without seeing him for the very last time. My friend consoled me saying: ” At least, this time, maybe there is no point of holding on to the idea of him. This time you’ll be able to let him go. Finally after long years.”

She had a point there. Maybe it’s high time to finally let go of the feeling that was never meant to be.

He was everything I wanted. My ideal man, my so-called-future, my dream. And because he is just but a dream, either I get him or lost him. I woke up from my dream and lost him. #

 

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