A Love to Kill

It was a fine young day in October. Autumn has just begun. It was also the first time after 10 years that I have set foot on the very heart of the city. I still know every corners of it. I rode a boat at Groenburgwal canal and started to journey down memory lane….

Ten years ago when hope was scarce and the only thing that can save and keep you alive is to forget that you are. I led a dark and routinary life. My own life was a mess and it does not matter to me until I saw her.

The girl that can take you to the moon and wish for the stars. The girl whose eyes speaks of million emotions. She was every inch of a woman a man would love to marry and live for the rest of a lifetime. She was a heaven in the hell where I am in.

I saw her first not on the University where she is that famous but at the Waterlooplein flea market. Right at that moment, I know she can move mountains and turn a still water into  tidal wave.

I tried to keep my distance but I saw a man in all black running towards her while she was having a phone call. Instinct told me to grab her and save her from robbery. She was trembling that time. With our very short interaction, I assured her that she was safe.

I thought it was the first and last time I saw her but fate must be on my side because we were classmates on Chemistry class at the University of Amsterdam when class began the next month after the incident.

We became good friends given the fact that I have once saved her life.

“The rest was history” was maybe a lame quote but as they have said love moves in mysterious ways. I knew I was falling for her the very first time I saw her but I also knew that she will always be an exemption. On the contrary, I was very aware of the fact that she, too, was falling for me.  We could just fall right in each other’s arms. We could’ve been epic.

As we strolled in Vondelpark, I have wanted to tell her everything, to unmask the persona in me, to reveal the secrets within but I know it will be another sword to her heart. I decided to stick with my plans.

Ten years passed by so fast but the familiar bench in the Leidsegracht street remains the same. It was still the same bench where her blood flowed after I stabbed her right back at her heart when I hugged her goodbye. She was the subject and I am the serial killer. She was the sacrificial lamb to protect her family and to keep my brother alive. It was all planned right from the moment I saw her and even the robbery. But I would have to admit that falling in love with her was unplanned.

 

Ten years and I still got scars that I know would never heal. How can I let it heal when I I saw the one I love died in front of me, eyes full of questions. I killed her and it will take me forever to mend the broken part of me. I made a choice to save my brother by killing my lover. And the price I have to pay is to undergo the pain day by day.

 

Note: this story is written per request of a very dear friend currently at Amsterdam.

Disclaimer: Photo by https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=amsterdam&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi4xdTf_8bLAhVIG5QKHXGKCNgQ_AUIBygB&biw=1745&bih=868#imgrc=LKsj7pBpX6vBhM%3A

 

 

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