Time will pass and these moods shall pass and I will eventually be, myself again.- Kay Redfield Jamison

As the rain keeps pouring down, I guess I have to pour down my thoughts lately. I often wonder why people fall in love that fast after a heartbreak. But I wonder most about those people who always get their hearts broken everytime they fall in love. That they’re good when they don’t. The love thing is a total crap. I’ve grown used to the cycle of falling in love and letting go. I’ve mastered its art that I have built walls so strong it’s very hard to trust again. It’s very hard to fall again because you’ve been hurt and used badly in the name of that so called love. Maybe someone should introduce love into my vocabulary again, make me acquainted and will prove to me that not all people are the same, heartbreaker.

For me it’s just unfair because I don’t have a past that’s holding me back or something while he has.

I have been pre-judged before. I was accused of ruining a guy’s life. I remained silent and smile at tha false accusation. How can I even explain myself when I was given the guilty sentence already. Behind those smiles hid a totally wrecked heart. And behind those smiles was a girl crying herself to sleep and waking up still with tears in her eyes. That even her real friends couldn’t do something to lessen the pain. That even they have tried to ask what they should do, she just smiled still with tears in her eyes. She could not face the world because she was too wasted. But she never gave up on love even of what had happened to her. She never did until she got fed up with jerks. And she realized it was high time to build those walls. She did.

Or just a thought, maybe I çould try trusting love again but not happiness. Happiness is a bitch! Some random thoughts.

How silly of me to think a boy with fire in his soul could ever melt away the ice that’s seeped into my bones.


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