Foreword: If you are in a relationship with one member of this family, do not read further or if you shall read, please be open minded.
“How could we not talk about family when family’s all that we got?”
Now that’s a line from my favorite song “See you Again, OST of FF7.
But I will not be talking about my biological family for as requested I am to write for this family, as what they call us but what does family really mean?
In a simple but direct definition, family is not only defined by blood, it is defined by heart. (heart heart)
And so I found them, my family by heart.
Actually this is getting difficult to write for there are minor casualties but I know I’m writing for a good cause, I am always writing for the majority of course. (HAHAH)
In a bunch of people, I found another family (like I always do), in a group called HAMAL. I cannot remember exactly how it started, I just knew that I belonged, even if sometimes I don’t really but hell yeah, they always make me feel that I am. In my bad hair days, excuses days and loading days, they’re just there, ready to bully me. Oh cmon’! They taught me bad words. Seriously guys I don’t talk shit and fuck before I met you. But well, sometimes I needed those to extricate pain and sadness.
(To write a little history is my very intention so as to bore and thrill the readers because most of them do not like to read, like read a lot.)
In a middle of a text conversation with one of them, I asked him: define love? And to quote his reply:
“Love is unknown. It can hit you like truck or be cruel as a boss but when you find it, it can turn to joy, happiness but if it hurts you, it can kill you and poison your mind but sometimes love, love is when your heart pounds, time stops and the world just take a pause and then let you go, let love take you away. It’s like a dream that you want to wake up.”
He just went through a heart break so I will have to respect his definition though it sounds bitter. Bittersweet.
But if you will have to ask me a definition of it, it will be a very long story and my time is running and these page will not be enough to talk about it. When we say “love”, when we talk about it, just choose your preference: will you have it with coffee, tea, or me? Kidding aside, to extend the bitterness, I would say shortly that love has always passed me by. Always. It’s sad but it’s not always that bad.
When we say love in a family, it’s like ties binding you to keep you whole; the bond that will never be broken because the foundation is love. But what if you fall for a family? I mean a member of the family? (Would you stay or will you run away?”) eh? HAHHA
As what they have said, love moves in a mysterious ways. In our group, we have grown attached with mixed people: boys, girls (gays? I am for gender equality and a gender advocate so guys, get out of your comfort zone, go out from your closet.) Because of the attachment, love develops (as what they have believe it is). Love for the opposite sex. But is it really possible? To fall for someone in the group, like fall in love?
But of course, especially if you are always there for each other and with the reality that you are not related by blood, there’s no reason not to. We are free to fall in love. We have the freedom to choose who we love, right? We shout for freedom without knowing that with freedom comes great responsibility. (Spiderman)
We haven’t thought about what entails to love someone and being responsible for it. We just love. We fall in love with the idea of love. And let love goes with the flow.
The question is, have they ever thought about falling in love with one of their family? (like whatever definition they have with a “family”) The concept is called INCEST (capslock para intense). The incest I am referring about is not the one in my Webster dictionary’s definition. ( I was shocked when I read it, try it)
Incest to define in my terms is having a relationship with a family, blood related or not as long as you consider it family.
If I am for the minority of this notion, which means those who fell, fall, will fall in love with a member of the family (in this group), I salute you guys. I salute you for fighting for the feelings you have right now (applicable to past, present and future). For being man and woman enough to express what you feel; for being strong and proud enough to shout to the world “Dude, he/she is the one.” (I believe some of you are smiling upon reading this, if and only if you read this with your heart. Chos!)
But I am for the majority (Cross fingers or I shall be doomed one day upon writing this, HAHHA). Yes I stand for the majority, those who were rejected because of their one sided love and I am for the majority, those who, with me, stand for the purity of the concept of a family, blood related or not.
I am with them who say that loving someone within the group is incest by nature. We love our family but not with a different kind of love. For if we do, it comes with responsibility and consequences that will ruin friendship built for so many years. Believe me, love can move mountains into heaven or hell. If you value friendship over that fucking thing called love, choose to remain a friend.
Friends will always be there for you no matter what but when love ends, friendship ends (not always but most of the time.) There is no such thing as friendship after break up or after love ends. It’s either, you don’t really love that someone or you still have feelings for them. (If you want to object, write your own entry)
If you’re trying to contest the idea and say that love starts with friendship. Yes, it always does. But not in this situation, we’re talking about family here and not just pure friends. We have more likely one thousand friends not in this group. For those who requested me to write this entry, they wanted to emphasize that relationship in this group is strictly prohibited but for those who are in a relationship right now, treasure it while it lasts. We respect you guys. I respect you and I love you all.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions express by the writer does not necessary reflect those of the reader and the management. Furthermore, the views and opinions express by the readers do not necessarily reflect those of the writer and the management.