I shall be writing about him, of every inch of the memory that I could still recall. The point of reminiscence would be to save myself from the forgetfulness of time.
I knew it then. I should know it by now, that upon the passing of time, I could forget if not everything, almost everything. I will remember the feeling partly but I want to remember almost everything.
Honestly, I could not classify my feelings for him. I’m not sure if I’ve fallen for him but I’m pretty sure that he’s not my crush, not even my type. However, he made me smile again, laugh again and sadly, cry again.
I was living a smoothly sailing life, like what happened to every other guy of my other stories; he barged into my system and ruined it afterwards. I was thankful though because I learned to feel again.
Our story started with “what? You too?.” From then on, we clicked. We also started hang out. I don’t know what’s with me that he made me feel like he was amazed with my every action, every idea, everything.
From morning ‘til midnight, we talked personally and over the phone or via fb messenger. We had our fair share of petty quarrels. Our fights kept our conversation going.
He, for the least, pretended to care while I just don’t; not very long enough though because in the long run, I’ve crushed the walls I built. I started to care.
It was a joke to call him a best friend because he never was and never will be. I just can’t call him a friend because I know we’re more than that and a little less than that. Confusing, right?
The more I think about him while writing this, the more memories came flashing back. And I owe him this because he was the one who gave me this notebook.
Oh! By the way, he’s not really handsome per se; just an ordinary guy but he has cute eyes, He talks bullshit and he’s very dumb for me. (HAHA)
The good thing about him was that he tried very hard to please me even if he knew that I can’t be pleased easily. He said almost all of the sweetest words a guy could say but to no avail. I’m that cold. I admit it made me smile but there’s no point in believing.
The very first time I agreed with him was a rainy day or rather a rainy night. It was raining hard that before it rained, we agreed to see each other. We fought again on who will fetch who. I had an umbrella so it was on my advantage.
I went to him and he was right there waiting outside the internet café slightly wet. We argued again if we’re ought to ride a tricycle or just walk, Without an agreement, we walked under the rain, under those dark cornered streets where rain was falling hard that it started to overflow in every pavement.
It was fun for me .because despite of the heavy rain, we managed to talk aloud and laughed in between. It was a sweet rainy night for me, having him laughing under the falling rain with only one umbrella for both of us. WE ended up in fast food chain and ate there.
Inasmuch as I want to write everything, I cannot for the sake of old days. I want to remember the good memories only; walking in the rain for one. One memory that could trigger more of it.
I can also perfectly remember how he said thank you after we talked in a car park. The car park where once a romantic turned into traumatic place for me. He didn’t have to know about it but I’m glad I have overcome my trauma.
It was very sweet of him for having tolerated my mood swings. I have the most crazy mood swings. And I have to credit him for being understanding and the likes.
Of course there are things we want to stay and not leave behind. They will be a part of just a memory. But the fact that it happened means a lot and we just have to feel honored because it happened even if we didn’t expect it.
“Sometimes memory tricks you. But I know the reality of him is going to match my memory.” 11/12