LOVE ≠ LOVE

 

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   When I was nine  years old, I’ve read a poem about a girl who loves walking in the rain without an umbrella. I didn’t quite understand what it means. But when I reached the age of 18, I found it and read it again and this time I perfectly understood. The girl was just like me in many ways. There are times that I love to be in the rain without an umbrella. I know I’ll get sick but eventually it’s gonna make me well.

            Aside from the chill caused by the cold breeze of my surroundings; I could also feel the fast beating of my heart. But don’t get me wrong, I am not in love again. I’m just nervous writing this column. I thought I need an inspiration for writing this but lately, I realized that I just needed a perfect setting-a tranquil atmosphere. For me, writing is like playing with words but this time I need to be careful in playing it because I have to make sure that the readers will understand what I am writing about. I want to write with all my heart about the thing that interests me. I hope you’ll get inspired and in some ways be realistic in viewing your perspective in life.

            I want to continue with these lines:

            When I was a child, I started to embrace the idea of fairy tales with happy endings. I even got to the point of creating my own fairy tale= that one day, I would wake up with a prince riding in a white horse or even a knight in shining armor will do. I want to be like Cinderella and all other princesses. Who wouldn’t wish to be like them? Their stories have happy endings. And so it brought me to be idealistic in some ways.

            I have been living in a fantasy with the idea of having an ideal man, an ideal love story, a perfect wedding and all the romantic tresses. I have been wounded so many times by battles I have fought alone in life and on love. I was in a love-and-lost routine.

            One would think that the cure for our loneliness is to have Mr. Perfect or the Damsel in Distress by our side. The problem with this is that the solution is based on illusion. And with most illusions, reality inevitably intervene causing hurt and sorrow to us.  And to believe that the illusion is real, is of course, part of the illusion. This leaves us shattered but left us with the idea that indeed, fantasy is worlds apart from reality and that fantasy will never come true.

            When the heart beats uneven and it occasionally skips, we think we’re already in love. To add more spice with what we are feeling, it seems that you are floating in the air especially when you see that person and one more thing; you also feel that your eyes are twinkling with its heart shaped.  It sounds silly (and may be it really is) but this is the thing called puppy love (one that can be very much related to fantasy.) At first, you got attracted to a person, dazzled by his physical appearance then you got a crush on him. You adore him in so many ways. You experience the “kilig” factor. Then you thought it was true love. Later, you start on expecting too much even though you knew that it is not true love since it is the looks you considered first. The physical appearance that would soon wear out and same with puppy love; it would fade like summer into fall. You thought it was true love because you are in the stage that you wanted to believe that what you are experiencing is the real thing.

            Just because something is good doesn’t mean we should gorge on it. We have to admit that puppy love is the product of immaturity but I am not telling you it’s wrong. It’s just a stumbling block for the main one. It may not always be right but you’ll gain memories and experiences that can make you smile even for a while. After all, it’s part of growing up.

            “Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful and trusting. Love never fails.”

            This is the definition of love by Apostle Paul written in the I Corinthians 13: 4-8. And this is the best example of true love. The “kilig” factor is not anymore in the surface. It does not expect. It is unconditional-giving without expecting in return and is immeasurable. Realistic love also comes with fidelity, responsibility, time and space and of course, commitment. It also leads to either of the two consequences: It dies naturally or it grows old with time. It dies naturally because it is really not meant to be.  Accept it and move on. There is no point of holding on to something you know you are better off when you just let it go. On the contrary, it grows old with time because the love we are feeling for a certain person/thing grows deeper each day. The more we nurture it, the more it grows in our heart. Of course the love that has been taken cared for will be valued and appreciated in the end.

            It’s not all about mere happiness because we know it is a true kind of love when we can endure the pain even if it’s not reciprocated. And we have to admit that even letting go is a sign of true love.

            “Love is a wonderful feeling.” This is the idea being influenced by the stories we’ve read, music we’ve listened and the movies we’ve watched. Even since, we base our love through our feelings. Feelings are passing and transient. They change as the circumstances turn. It is always better to delve on the true essence of love. Besides, a love that is worth waiting for is a love that is willing to wait.

            Reality bites but sadly we can never bite it back. There is no such thing as happy endings in life even in love. We have to face that. It may sound unfair but it isn’t really. The thing that was brought by life has a purpose. They follow a trend; an endless stream, a randomly set of fine and tainted photographs.

            We may already have created our love story but we shouldn’t neglect God, the One whose writing or probably have written the best love story for us. It may not have a happy ending here, but who knows? There might be a place of ever after. And because our Creator is the author, I know for sure it’s the best that anyone could ever have. We just have to follow His path for us and just never go against it. We have to learn to feel the good things of sticking to the flow= it’s like an effortless ride on the water’s rush to the end.

            “Not all fast beating hearts means love, not all blushed faces is a sign that you’re already in love. Love is more than just a feeling that it needs a great time to figure if it’s really love.”

 

| written and published two years ago as my first column (4th yr) in The Collegiate Headlight, the official student publication of USeP-Obrero |

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